I finally got all moved in to my new apartment this weekend! I’m only sharing it with one other person, which is a great improvement from the three roommates (not the same three people, but always three people) I’ve had for the last two years and the four I had for the year before.
This move was desperately needed. I had a lot of problems with the people in my old apartment complex, problems that really fueled my anxiety. It got so bad that I was afraid to leave my room because I might have to talk to somebody, or (maybe) worse, be subject to an angry glare.
I also went through a lot of changes in the old apartment. It was when I was living there that I decided I no longer wanted to associate myself with the LDS church. It was there that I changed from an English Education major to an English Literature major (something that seems small but has had a HUGE impact on my life). I had a lot of emotions tied to the place, and it was really just time for a fresh start.
I got rid of a lot of stuff when I moved, and it feels great to not be carrying around stuff that I don’t need or want. I did it with my tangible objects, so maybe now I can do it with my thoughts and obsessions that I don’t need or want. I really do see this move as an opportunity to work on improving myself.
My new apartment is more simple than my old one. There is no pool or gym (not that I ever went to those because I was afraid of who might be there), there is also no dishwasher (again, never used it) or air conditioner (just a source of tension). I’m glad to get rid of those amenities if it means I can feel more at ease in my home. And I already do, after only two nights.
The new place still doesn’t feel like it’s mine. It’ll take time for that. There are new sounds at night, a slightly new routine to get into. But I still feel more comfortable than I did in my old place. My new roommate seems to be pretty laid back and it’s very unlikely that she’ll come crying to me night after night about her boyfriend drama.
I’m glad that I made this move, and I’m even more glad that I did it by myself. I planned on relying on my boyfriend a lot for help with the move, but instead I moved everything and cleaned out the old place on my own (with the exception of help moving my mattress). It feels really good to have done this alone. I even assembled my bookshelf by myself!
This move reinforced to me that I can do hard things. I can make changes in my life when the old is no longer serving me. It probably doesn’t seem like a big deal to some of you, but this move was so empowering for me. It was an exercise in taking control of my life, and I am pumped! Thanks for reading!